Notes: Special thanks go to Erin Cayce for her dedicated musing and beta reading. This story would not be half as good without her and it probably would never have been posted here. TB, you are my goddess!
Mad Season - Part 1
/Are you there?/
/Come on, Kara. I know you are/
"I'm here."
/You're buggin' about something. I can tell. Want to talk about it?/
"No, Heero. I don't think I do."
/It's about Duo then./
Duo sat at the kitchen table brooding in his coffee and wishing Kara and Wufei were finally back from their mission. In the five months since the debacle with Dr. J the two of them were partnered regularly on missions, seemingly because Kara was the first pilot Wufei could work with consistently. Wu had even finally stopped calling her the dreaded 'onna'. Their styles complimented each other well too, so to all appearances it was a match made in heaven. And that was the problem. The chemistry was just too damned good between them.
Duo had been watching the friendship develop and was becoming more uneasy by the day. For the longest time he'd noticed Wufei watching Kara, following her every move and insinuating himself closer and closer to her. To be fair, Kara seemed not to notice how seductive Wufei actually was. She appeared to be totally devoted only to him, so why was he stressing out like this? On the other hand, Wufei's attractions were undeniable and Kara was new to the game of love. She could be an easy target if Wu ever resolved to press the matter.
After weeks of suspicion, Duo had decided to address the issue with the Chinese pilot. Wufei was reading alone in the kitchen and Duo pulled up a chair to join him.
"Hey Wu, can we talk a minute?" he began uneasily.
"Of course. What's on your mind?"
Duo shifted nervously in his chair, unable to find a comfortable position. "Look, no point in avoiding the question. Is something going on with you and Kara?"
"Kara's my partner and my friend, nothing more." Wufei met Duo's eyes steadily, apparently hiding nothing, though Duo felt some tension there.
"Well, I've been a little worried, Wu-man. You've been watching her. Every move she makes actually. So I'd say it's natural for me to wonder a little."
Wufei felt defensive and accused, but he kept his tone controlled as he answered. "Both of you are my friends and you're together. There would be no honor in interfering with that." He stopped a moment, considering how much more to reveal before going on. "But if you push Kara away with this groundless jealousy I'm perfectly willing to pick up the pieces."
Duo was stunned by the admission, and not entirely certain if he'd been warned or counseled. "I guess we understand each other, then."
And they did understand each other. Duo tried very hard to remember that Kara loved him, and that she and Wufei were no more than good friends. Tried and failed whenever he saw them together. Now they were three days late getting back from their mission and he was starting to really stew.
At that moment Kara and Wufei breezed into the house, looking happy and relaxed, roughhousing a little playfully shoving and shadow boxing each other. It really got under Duo's skin. In fact, Wu-man was looking a little *too* relaxed. His hair was even unbound and loose, for crying out loud. His attitude went from bad to worse within seconds. Even Kara's cheerful greeting didn't penetrate.
"Hi Duo! Didya miss me, babe?" She smiled with genuine affection and threw her arms around him, from behind.
"Mission went well I take it?" Duo inquired. "Thought you'd be back a couple of days ago."
Neither Kara nor Wufei missed the cold tension Duo was throwing off. They exchanged a look that clearly said 'what is his problem?' not intending Duo to see it, but he did.
"Well, I'm glad you two made it back in one piece. Got things to do." He rose stiffly and exited without even a glance at them.
Kara reeled at the unexpected rejection. "What *was* that, Wufei? He didn't even hug me back."
"Who can ever tell with that baka? Don't worry about it." He reassured, wrapping a supportive arm around her and giving a little squeeze. "I'm heading to the exercise room. Want to join me?"
"No, no thanks. I really need to talk to him. Tomorrow, OK?" Kara was trying desperately to shake off her confusion. She headed off to find her irritating sweetheart.
She didn't have to look for long. Duo was standing in their room, staring out the window. Kara came in softly and pressed herself into his back, sneaking her arms around his waist. She pressed her face into his hair and breathed in his scent, finally feeling like she was really home.
"I missed you so much, Duo. I think I need about a month of downtime - alone with you." Kara murmured as she turned him to face her and nuzzled his neck. Duo resisted the embrace a little and she noticed it. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Duo's voice was cold, flat.
"Don't do this, Duo. Don't shut me out" she pleaded with him.
Duo could feel himself softening. She'd never lied to him; why would she now? He forced that idea down. "I was just worried about you. We expected you back days ago."
"Yeah, you said that earlier. Is there a problem?" She asked, tension creeping into her voice.
"No, none at all."
"Geez Duo, don't you ever learn? Last time you hid things from me you almost wound up dead. I thought you weren't going to do that any more." Kara was working herself up into an attitude that rivaled Duo's.
"OK, baby. You wanna know what's bothering me? Here it is - I think you and Wu-man are...I think...I think you took your time getting back from that mission. Maybe you stole a day or two of *downtime.*"
Kara went from attitudinal to livid in a heartbeat.
"You...think...what?!" She advanced on Duo aggressively, backing him up further and further until the backs of his legs hit the bed. She put her hands on his shoulders and shoved. She followed him down and straddled his hips, dragging his arms over his head and down, not letting him move an inch as she got right into his face. "You've got to be kidding me." Her glare rivaled Heero's most threatening.
Duo glared back at her, but she read uncertainty in his amethyst eyes as well. It tore at her. "All I've thought about the last three days was where you were, Kara. Were you lying hurt or dead somewhere, or were you lying in Wufei's bed?"
"Where did this come from Duo? All *I've* thought about was getting home to you, and I come home to this. We were delayed, so what? Don't you trust me at all? Or Wu? He's your friend."
"You can't possibly be that naïve." Duo argued.
"I can't do this. I won't. You need to believe that I love only you or this is not going to work" Kara scrambled off of him and walked to the door, trying desperately to hang onto her control until she got out of the room. "You come talk to me when you've got your head on straight and not a moment before."
She left Duo lying there wondering how he's let things go so damned wrong.
Kara didn't stop running until she got to the utility room at the rear of
the safe house. Alone, surrounded by the tools and weaponry she loved, she finally gave in, slumping against a wall and shaking with the effort to resist the flow of tears. 'I will not cry. I *will* not cry.' Her small body was heaving with the effort to hold it in. It was at this moment that Wufei walked down the hall. Alerted by her small sounds of grief he rushed into the room.
Pulling Kara to her feet and into his arms, he searched her tormented eyes as he spoke to her. "Onna" the word was a caress. "Onna, what happened?" He ran gentle hands over her face and through her hair, comforting.
"Nothing, Wufei. Just leave me" she gasped out between the sobs she was still resisting.
"Don't try that with me, Kara. You fought with him didn't you?"
"I don't want to do this Wufei...draw you into my personal problems with Duo. Don't push." Little by little she was bringing herself back under control, but the hurt and confusion remained in her eyes.
"Let me be your friend now. This is what friends do, onna." His voice was tender with concern. It worked magic on Kara, coaxing her to respond. "Tell me what happened."
Kara hesitated before whispering "Duo thinks, he accused me of behaving improperly with you, Wufei, after the mission." She lifted shame-filled eyes to his. "How could he think that? What have I done?"
"You've done nothing. He's delusional." Wufei answered roughly, drawing her back into his embrace, running soothing hands over her shoulders and back. He lifted her face to his and dropped small kisses at her temples, forehead and cheeks. "Shall I talk to him, tell him that?"
"God no, Wufei. Let me handle this" Kara gasped out. Wufei's tender treatment astonished her. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the sensations. When her eyes met his again what she read there was totally male and totally unexpected.
Wufei lowered his lips to just a breath above hers. "Kara, I..." the rest was an inarticulate growl as he took her mouth with his in a hard kiss, plundering. Kara couldn't help but respond to the unexpected and exotic fierceness of it all. It was Wufei who broke the kiss and they stood staring at each other, breathing raggedly.
Kara pulled away, devastated. "I can't do this Wufei."
"I know. It's a bad idea. You love Duo." Wufei released her, but didn't move away.
"I *do* love Duo. And you are my best friend Wu. This feels so wrong," she paused for a second, closing her eyes, "and so right at the same time. Let's just..." she broke off, shaken by what she'd almost admitted to Wufei and to herself.
Wufei saw the uncertainty in her and pressed his advantage. "Yes Kara, let's just." He kissed her again, this time gently, seducing her.
They sprung apart at the sound of a throat clearing behind them and turned guiltily to see a glaring Heero standing there. "You've made a mistake Wufei. I'll talk to you about that later. C'mon Kara. You need to come with me now." He gave Wufei one last menacing look as he lead the confused girl away.
Wufei stood there watching them go, cursing himself for starting things with Kara, and cursing Heero for stopping it.
Heero gently hustled Kara into his quarters and settled her onto the spare bed before sitting beside her. He studied her ravaged face for a few minutes before speaking quietly.
"So, no more avoiding this, Kara. Tell me what's going on here."
Kara met his gaze only with effort, then shifted her eyes downward. Her voice was troubled and unsteady as she began. "I don't know, Heero. Everything was so good with Duo for a while, so good. Then, a couple of weeks ago maybe, he just went quiet. Tense. I'd try and try to bring him out, but I felt like he was just watching me and waiting for something. Today when Wufei and I got back Duo was so cold."
"Keep talking" Heero prodded.
"Duo thinks I'm sleeping with Wufei." She blurted out, shocking the both of them.
Heero thought about that for a moment, then pinned her with hard eyes. "Are you?"
"No!" she cried, the tears finally coming in gulps. "No, Heero."
"Well Kara, what I saw...if Duo had walked in on that, I don't know. Could you tell me what was going on with Wufei?"
Kara met her twin's inquisition, beginning carefully, as though answering her own inner question as well, "I honestly don't know Heero. Wufei started out comforting me. That's all it was. I think what happened surprised both of us. And I *know* we both realize that it was a mistake, that I want to be with Duo."
Heero gave Kara a small hug and a small smile. "You're tired and strung out. Why don't you sleep here tonight. I'll talk to them both. It will be fine. Ok?" He pushed her gently down to the pillows.
"Thanks, Heero. I mean it." Kara said sleepily, giving in.
After leaving his sleeping twin, Heero caught up with Wufei in the kitchen brewing tea. The Chinese pilot set out cups and indicated that he wished Heero to sit with him. He was tense and drawn as he addressed Heero, formally and apologetically.
"I'm sorry Heero, I had no right to touch her."
"No you didn't, Wufei. What was your thinking?" Heero questioned quietly.
Wufei's reply was candid and uncomfortable. "I wasn't thinking. I was wanting." He looked down into his cup of tea, unable to continue facing Heero's scrutiny. "I've been wanting almost from the first with Kara."
"Are you willing to destroy both of them, Wufei? You will, if you continue this. They love each other." Heero reached out lifted Wufei's chin with a gentle hand, forcing Wufei to meet his eyes. "Do you love?"
"I don't know, Heero." The admission was strained.
Heero rose from the seat and placed a hand on Wufei's shoulder, understanding his friend's turmoil even as he warned him off. "Then leave them alone until you figure it out."
Heero ran into Duo as he headed out of the kitchen. The braided pilot's disheveled and frantic appearance stunned him.
"Where is she? I can't find her, Heero and I have screwed up so royally. I have to fix it." Duo was nearly begging.
Cobalt eyes searched tear filled violets, finding only love and concern there, not the bitter jealousy that had filled them earlier and was comforted by what he saw. "Hang on Duo. She's fine, sleeping in my room." He smoothed the ragged hair back from Duo's eyes. "Go on then, fix things. I'll sleep somewhere else tonight."
Duo pulled his friend into a brisk, hard hug. "Thanks man, I promise I will."
Duo let himself into the room quietly and stood looking his sleeping lover for long moments before stripping down to his boxers and easing himself into the bed beside her. He pulled her into his arms, careful not to awaken her and just lay there, watching her sleep, planting soft kisses to her face now and then and allowing himself some peace after weeks of worry. Kara drifted slowly to awareness under his ministrations and looked up sleepily into his eyes, wary at first, then she smiled sweetly at him, breaking his heart just a little.
"I love you Duo." Kara whispered. "It's so good to be home."
Duo crushed her close, trembling a little with emotion. "I'm so sorry, baby. I was wrong." He took her mouth tenderly, pouring everything he felt for her, love, desire and regret into the kiss. She accepted and returned the sweet salute. "Please, Kara. Let me explain."
"You don't have to. As long as you love me Duo, we'll be OK."
"No baby, I do have to. I need to say it and you need to hear...why." He braced himself for the telling. "Why I let myself be so afraid that I pushed you away. You know my history, everyone I touch dies - Solo, Father, Sister even my parents, whoever they were. I've had lovers before you and none of them have cared about me enough to stay. I felt unlovable. Then you came along and you loved me, you stayed with me and I finally felt complete. You have no idea how much that meant to me. I'd do anything to hold onto that, even lose my mind a little. And that's what happened when I saw you growing closer to Wufei. I thought he could take you away from me."
"I'm not going anywhere, Duo. Not until you send me away yourself." Kara pledged. "I love Wufei as a friend, Duo, but only a friend. Please believe that."
"I'm trying, Kara. But old habits die hard, ya know? I'm so used to losing that I can't help expecting it. And Wu - well he's an amazing guy. I can admit that. You'd be lucky to..."
Kara looked at Duo fiercely at this and cut him off. "Stop it Duo! Stop comparing yourself and coming out on the short end. Sure, Wufei is amazing. It doesn't matter. *You* are the one I want."
Kara rolled on top of Duo and caged his face between her hands. Her eyes held his for long moments before kissed him, roughly at first and then more tenderly as he responded to her. She rained kisses on his face and neck. Her hands found the end of his braid and pulled the band from it so she could unravel it and bury her hands in the chestnut silk. She murmured "I love *you* Duo" over and over as she kissed and caressed him.
The two lovers pulled their remaining clothes away, worshiping each inch of newly exposed skin as it was revealed with lips and hands. Duo lowered Kara back down to the mattress and covered her with his body, sheathing himself in her heat. They moved together in perfect rhythm. Passion born of a soul-deep connection built and crested. They cried out their release together in one shuddering breath. In the aftermath, the two settled into peaceful slumber, wrapped in each other's arms.
Duo watched his sleeping love in the early morning light, fears allayed and feeling replete in the aftermath of a long night of lovemaking. He hitched up his determination to hold onto this feeling. It was something to treasure.
With a last soft kiss on Kara's forehead Duo eased out of the bed and dressed quietly, careful not to awaken the exhausted girl. He let himself out of the room and headed toward the kitchen, thinking to surprise Kara with coffee and toast. Quatre and Trowa looked up from their breakfast as he bounced in and greeted him happily. As Duo came farther into the room he stiffened as he spied Wufei at the counter, preparing his usual breakfast of rice and green tea porridge. 'I will not let this guy rattle me.'
"Maxwell" the Chinese pilot greeted him sourly.
"Chang."
Wufei surveyed Duo's appearance, his expression implying that he found the vision before him less than pleasant. The rancor wasn't lost on Duo who found it harder to resist the bait as the seconds ticked by. The tension in the room wasn't lost on Quatre and Trowa either, though they tried to fade into the background, away from the growing aggression. Duo took in Wufei's appearance as well, noting his uncharacteristically open collar and unbound hair. It rankled.
Duo didn't bother to keep the hard edge out of his voice as he approached the other boy. "That's a different look for you, Wu-monster."
"Yes. It was Kara's idea." His voice was cool and even. "She likes it...a lot."
Quatre and Trowa's heads snapped up at that, eyes shifting back and forth between the combatants, unable to ignore what was happening. Quatre started to rise, as if wanting to buffer the two. Trowa held him in his seat with a steadying hand, his eyes saying 'let them work this through.'
Duo advanced on Wufei, something dangerous glittering in his eyes. "I doubt you'd have any idea *what* Kara really likes, man."
"Oh, I think you'd be surprised to find out what I know about Kara's preferences." He sneered in answer.
Both pilots were so intent on their battle that they were insensible of Kara's approach. She threw herself between them, reeling at the angry emotions the two were slinging at each other, and at the pained shock caused by Wufei's remark. The truth of it hit her like a blow, filling her with hurt and shame. The hopeless reality of the situation crashed in on her and she snapped.
"We've all three of us gone mad. Look at the two of you, fighting each other. Don't you get enough of fighting the enemy? You need to fight each other?" She stopped a second and looked at these men, one her lover and one her friend, suddenly bone tired and heartsick. "And I must be the maddest one of all to think this could work. I was better off alone, you know. At least I wasn't ruining a friendship then or being torn between two men who don't know how to trust." She drew a ragged breath. "I'm finished with both of you."
She turned away from them, unable to look at either of them any longer, and witnessed her twin's arrival on the scene. She turned desolated eyes to him praying he was the lifeline she needed.
"Heero, I don't want to be partnered again, especially with either of them. I want to go back to only running solo missions." She grated out. She turned and looked sadly at Duo, shaking her head, then whispered goodbye and walked out the back door into the empty streets.
Part 2
/Are you there?/
"I'm here."
/You don't sleep. You don't eat. We're worried about you./
"I'm fine, Heero."
/Neither does Duo, Kara./
"Duo's not my problem anymore."
The Kara that returned to the safe house that night bore no resemblance to the girl the pilots had grown to care about over the past months. Gone was the happy, relaxed girl, replaced by the empty, efficient soldier created by Dr. J. That first night each of the pilots tried talking to Kara and each was coolly rebuffed before Kara finally retreated to the one unclaimed corner of the house, the cellar, which she made her own. In the ensuing weeks Kara went out on missions and returned, heading straight for her room in the cellar, speaking to no one. The only contact she had with her former partners was in the late night messages exchanged with her twin over the computer lines.
Heero was frantic with worry. He'd tried to talk with Kara face to face. Had followed her down to the cellar and alternately pounded on or railed at the locked door. There was never an answer. It was like living with a ghost.
Before long Heero thought he was living with two ghosts. Though Duo had not withdrawn from his friends, he was a shadow of his old self, silent and wearing his misery like a cloak. It became a game for the other pilots to coax smiles out of the braided pilot, one that even the very contrite Wufei joined. It was odd to all of them, Wufei's unexpected kindness towards Duo, and Duo's quiet acceptance of it. It was as though they were united by their shared loss. Over time Duo fell into Kara's roll as Wufei's partner and while theirs was not a bond of easy friendship, it was one of devotion.
Very late one night Kara stumbled in exhausted and a little battered from a just barely successful mission. The house was dark and quiet. Kara guessed that everyone was long asleep so she felt safe going to the kitchen for a drink. She sat wearily at the table with her glass, trying not to miss her friends, who were so close at hand. She lowered her head to the table and was asleep in an instant. As she slept she dreamed tender hands sifting through her shaggy hair, stroking her back, lifting her gently and carrying her to bed. Soft kisses were pressed to her face. She prayed for the dream never to end, but awareness stole into her psyche and she opened her eyes, not to her own cellar room, but to the cozy chaos of Duo's, and to the wary violet eyes that collided with her own.
Duo held her there when she tried to bolt and flee, begging her. "Kara, wait. Don't leave me again." His voice was hoarse with emotion. He lowered his lips to hers and tried to kiss her, but she shrank from him. Her resistance crushed him.
"This was a mistake Duo. Don't try it again." The tonelessness of her voice wrenched at Duo's heart. Kara shoved him away from her, hard, and scrambled from the room before he could speak to her again, or touch her. He felt he'd been torn in half all over again and left to lie bleeding. He fell back on the bed and let silent tears slide from his eyes.
Wufei had seen Kara's rough departure. He slipped into the room and sat down on the bed beside Duo. "I'm so sorry Duo." Duo covered Wufei's hand with his and gave it a gentle squeeze but said nothing.
It was very early in the morning when Kara rolled in from her mission. She was keyed up and needing some exercise to work out the stress of it. She padded into the exercise room, feeling safe not to meet any of the others at this hour. She picked out a bamboo sword and began working through her forms. Tension leeched away as she exercised. She was so intent on the activity that she was not aware of the arrival of Wufei.
Wufei was not so unaware. His heart leapt when he saw his much-missed friend. He needed to talk to her badly, to try to repair the damage that his attempted progression from friend to lover had caused to all of their lives.
He stood watching her train for long minutes before greeting her nervously, uncertain of his reception.
"Hello Kara" his voice was low and husky. "Could we speak?"
Kara wheeled around rapidly, tension in every line of her body. "Leave me alone, Wufei. I don't want to talk to you any more than I wanted to talk to Duo. All that is over and done." Her voice was ruthlessly cold.
Wufei was not put off by the vehemence in her tone. "Please, Kara. At least let me explain--apologize."
"Not needed. It's dealt with. In the past. Now if you've finished..." She turned back to her forms, dismissing Wufei thoroughly.
Wufei refused to be put off. He walked to the rack of swords and took his time choosing one. He took a position opposing Kara, as he had dozens of times before and bowed, then stood patiently waiting for her to respond to his challenge. Moments went by before Kara snarled and returned the motion, then attacked viciously. There was no pretense at all that this was anything other than open and genuine battle on Kara's part. She struck blow after blow. Wufei's defensive moves were half-hearted and he took a beating. Welcomed it, in fact. Felt he deserved it.
When Kara was sweat-soaked and panting with exertion she put up her sword, bowed insolently and said only one word, "Why?" She repeated it over and over, her voice raw, not really expecting or wanting a response. Without waiting for one she turned and left the room, brushing by a horrified Heero on her way out.
Heero moved briskly to where Wufei was sitting on the mat, his head cradled in his hands, wracked with tearless sobs. He dropped to the floor beside the boy and lifted his chin up to his searching eyes, appalled at the beating his friend had taken. "Daijobu, Wufei?" he murmured gently. "Why didn't you fight back?"
"I just couldn't, Heero. I deserved this. More than this." He gasped out, letting the tears fall.
"No, Wufei." Heero pulled his friend into his arms, soothing away the hurt and the tears. He lifted Wufei's lips to his and kissed him tenderly, then when no resistance came, more hungrily, throwing both of them into a whirlwind of surprised passion. Wufei's lips clung to his, devouring. Then he broke away, as if suddenly realizing what was happening and being ashamed by it.
"What are we doing, Heero?" His voice was ragged with emotion.
"We're wanting, Wufei. And maybe we're loving." Heero's answer stunned him. He was afraid to dare hope that it was true. They both were.
"I can't do this, Heero, not yet. I have to make things right with her first."
"I'll talk to her." Heero said. "We'll work this through, I promise you. It's long past time for that."
Heero found Duo passed out at the kitchen table, a pile of spent limes, a salt shaker and a bottle of tequila with only an inch left in it before him. Duo liked to party, certainly, but he did not drink himself into oblivion often and Heero was beyond concerned about the braided baka. Kara had left on mission again and all of them worried about her, Duo most of all. As bad as it had been to watch Kara going out on mission with Wufei, watching her go alone was much harder.
Heero hoisted his wasted partner over his shoulder and took him to his room, placing him gently on the bed and taking a watchful position in a bedside chair. Duo had been waking up alone for too long and Heero wanted to be there for him. He sat quietly in the darkened room, watching his friend and listening to his quiet breathing. So much had happened to draw them together since Kara had come into their lives, then left so abruptly.
He had nearly dozed off when Duo began moaning and thrashing in his sleep. Heero moved to the bed and stroked the hair back from Duo's clammy forehead, soothing him. Duo's eyes drifted open, groggy and unfocussed from his night of excess. He gazed at Heero wonderingly and sighed "Kara? I've lost you, haven't I?" holding Heero's hand to his cheek. As he awakened further he slowly became aware that it was Heero, and not Kara sitting beside him. His face fell, crushed. "I thought you were Kara." Heero watched sadly as Duo paled and bolted from the bed, vomiting violently in the bathroom. Heero found him there, sitting on the cold, tile floor, miserable. He pulled him to his feet and pressed a glass of cool water to his lips.
"Come on, drink this" he said, gently, then guided Duo back to bed. "Now rest." Duo didn't fight it. He was half asleep before he hit the mattress.
Heero was still with him when he awakened, hung-over and grim. He had plenty to say to his broken friend and he hadn't enough sympathy to wait for the hangover to dissipate to have this little conversation.
"You've got to stop this, Duo. The drinking and the depression. You're no good to anyone like this. " His voice was gentle, but firm. "You've been careless on your missions as well. I'm afraid you're going to get yourself or one of us killed because of it." Duo bristled at that, but Heero held up a hand to stop him. "I'm going to have this same conversation with Kara, Duo. You aren't the only one who's been careless. Her mission performance has been good, but she's reckless, in ways she never has been. On top of that, she barely talks to me and I'm worried about her."
Duo paled at that. "She's been reckless? Heero, you can't let her keep going out alone. You can make her partner with someone. Partner her yourself."
Heero agreed. That could work. "We're going to talk when she gets back, all six of us. We need to be a team again. I *will* make her listen. Tomorrow by dinnertime she should be home. She'll eat with us all and talk if I have to tie her to the chair."
That remark brought a smile reminiscent of the old, teasing Duo to his face. "Yeah, you and what army?"
Kara never saw it coming.
The one time warehouse in a disreputable section of L3 had been commandeered for use by Whitefang in the past several months. Kara had been assigned to recon and report on the operations there. She moved through the warehouse, a small video camera recording as she investigated. It all looked pretty harmless, a minor operation, in her estimation so she let her concentration slip just a little, reviewing in her head the last conversations she'd had with Duo and Wufei. Doubts about her decision to cut herself off from them flooded her mind. It all felt so wrong these days, so hopeless 'Why am I doing this? Do I dare stop? Can I go back? Will Duo, will any of them forgive me?' That was the last conscious thought Kara had before a blinding pain shot through her head and it all went black.
Kara came to in a white room, strapped into a hard metal chair. The room was empty, except for this chair, and a camera mounted high on the wall, facing her. She raised her eyes and glared at it, hating whoever was watching her and daring them to come kill her. She just wished they'd hurry and get on with it.
The door made a metallic screech as it swung open and the man she recognized as the Whitefang leader, Quinze entered the sterile room. His manner was brisk and efficient as he moved directly in front of her, assessing coolly and thoroughly. "We'd heard rumors that there was a sixth gundam pilot. I'm pleased that they seem to be true, and that you've come to visit. I'm hoping to convince you to join us. Failing that, at least you certainly have information we can use."
"Not a chance in hell." Kara answered.
"That's unfortunate." Quinze replied. "I suppose you realize we'll try to *persuade* you." He walked around the chair, examining her from every angle.
"You're welcome to try. You won't succeed." Kara's voice was low and dangerous.
"We'll start off slowly then, and see where this leads."
Kara didn't care particularly where it would lead. She really had nothing left to lose, she thought, and she would take whatever they dealt, until they finally killed her. Her own private hell was torture enough and she welcomed death. It bothered her that they had Nakama. They would use it, she knew, with or without her. And she was determined it would be without her.
They did start off slowly, gently even. It was a common enough tactic, sleep deprivation. Designed to do no real physical damage and only short-term mental disruption. Ordinarily submission didn't take more than a few days.
Kara sat in that chair, day after day; knowing only the bright light and the continual noise, an evil mechanical buzzing that filled her head. On the fifth day Quinze returned to her and asked for her surrender in exchange for sleep. She grinned at him and responded "Sleep is for the weak and infirm."
Next they brought the drugs. The ones designed to elicit obedience and truthfulness. Kara felt them racing through her veins, burning her blood, but they had little effect on her, courtesy of Dr. J's thorough, genetic modifications. Quinze entered the white room with his vial of liquid hatred hour after hour then battered her mind with his questions and persuasions.
Kara responded with dead eyes and a flat voice, but gave him nothing.
Kara sensed his rising frustration with her resistance and knew it was only a matter of time before Quinze intensified the interrogation. She didn't care. She could only hope that he'd kill her in the end.
Back at the safe house Kara's partners had become frantic with worry. Kara was over a week late and they feared that she had either left voluntarily, running like she had from Dr. J or that she had been taken. Heero tried frantically to locate her. He traced her to the warehouse, but when the pilots arrived there it was empty, everything having been recently cleared away.
"This location was Kara's target" Heero told the others as they searched the building. "They must have her or they would not have moved." His low words turned the pilots' hearts to ice. They knew it had to be true.
Duo kicked a trashcan in rage, scattering the contents. Something glittering on the floor caught his attention and he bent to grasp it. It was a small gold cross, a tiny replica of his own that he had given Kara for good luck before one particularly dangerous mission. The memory of that day and her loving acceptance of his small gift flooded him and he was momentarily stricken. He pulled himself together and turned to the others, holding out the cross, he growled "She's been here." The cold steel in his voice captured the attention of his partners. The Shinigami had returned and he was angry. "They have her and I'm going to get her back."
Secretly each of them was relieved. Kara had been taken; she hadn't run from them. Now they had a mission. Find their partner and bring her home.
"I'd really rather not resort to this, you know." Quinze spoke quietly as he entered the white room that had become Kara's private hell. He was followed into the room by three burly guards who removed her from the chair and pulled her unresisting body to standing, manacled her and attached her manacled hands to an overhead hook.
'Here it comes.' Kara thought. "I'm ready. Do your worst." She told them, hoarsely. In spite of her words she was unprepared for that first blow, a hard fist to her chin. It snapped her head back and she felt her teeth cut her lips, filling her mouth with blood. She spat it at Quinze, then bared her bloody grin to him and the guards, satisfied to see them stiffen in chilled reaction. Quinze gave the signal for the beating to begin in earnest and the blows rained down on Kara. Each time she neared unconsciousness they paused and Quinze offered to halt it.
"One word from you and it stops" he would say.
Kara stood mute each time, then steeled herself for the next blow.
After hours Quinze stopped it himself, staring at the battered girl hanging limply from her bonds and knowing they would kill her before she gave up. He raised her blackened eyes to his own, expecting to see the hate and defiance she'd shown until now, and was shaken to see blank acceptance of her death. He sent the guards away then sat wearily in the chair. He had no stomach for this. Then he grew angry. He *would* break the girl. He had one last method to try.
Quinze poured a glass of cool water and pressed it gently to Kara's lips.
She swallowed it carefully. Still, she could not stop herself from coughing and choking on it. Quinze murmured softly to her, attempting to sooth her as he wiped the blood and sweat from her face tenderly with a cool, damp cloth. His voice was silky when he finally began speaking.
"In a minute I'm going to call those guards back in here. But this time my orders to them will be quite different, my girl." Kara studied him as he spoke. Realization of his intentions dawned slowly and for the first time she was truly afraid...and truly angry. Rage burned through her and she knew she could not submit to a rape. To do that would defile the beauty of the love she'd shared with Duo and she'd die before she let that happen. Kara came alive with new conviction, finally determined to survive. The only option was escape.
Quinze ran one hand over her body, groping and touching with ugly aggression where she'd only been touched with passionate love. For a moment Kara thought he'd do this particular job himself. She knew she had to act quickly, before the guards returned. Overpowering this slim, old man would be easier in her battered condition than taking on the guards would be.
Kara began to speak quietly, too quietly for Quinze to hear. He moved his head closer to hers, to catch the words Kara was trying to tell him. It was a mistake. Kara rammed one foot into his throat when he came near then kicked him again while he was still reeling. Quinze toppled silently to the floor and Kara was able to get herself free from the overhead, restraining hook. She knelt beside him and searched his pockets until she located the key to the manacles then unlocked them. She found a gun in his pocket and palmed it, ready to blast her way out.
Her three tormenters did not see the door open or even the broken girl as she stepped from the chamber. They felt the bullets rip though them and their bodies hit the hard floor, then nothing more. Kara gathered their weapons then ran on silent feet, guided by some divine hand until she found Nakama waiting for her in an unguarded section of the building. She mounted the suit and prayed it was operational. Her prayers were answered and it sprang to life. She pulled up navigation data and plotted a course for home.
After all the investigating and hacking the pilots had done it was Quatre who burst into the kitchen with news. "I've found her!" He sang out to his friends. One of his many contacts had called with a story about a new Whitefang installation, complete with directions and a rumor that a female gundam pilot had been captured.
"I'm going." Duo growled. He looked at Wufei carefully. "You coming with me?"
Wufei nodded his assent. "Meet you out front in 10."
Heero looked for a moment as if he would object, but he decided to leave this to the two of them. *They* needed to do this job. He watched, trusting, as they geared up for departure.
By the time Kara got to the front door of the safe house she was shaking with the effort to remain standing and she knew that her tenuous hold on consciousness was quickly slipping away. Just as she reached for the knob the door was flung open and Wufei rushed out, nearly colliding with her. He looked at her in shock, taking in her ravaged condition, then caught her as she crumpled to the ground.
"My God, Kara? How?" He carried her gently into the house, bellowing for the others.
"Duo, I need Duo, Wufei." Kara begged.
Her words cut through the relief, wounding him and for once and all he realized that it *was* Duo that Kara wanted and needed. He handed Kara off gently to her lover, grieving at the loss even as he thanked the powers of heaven and earth for her return home. Arriving just in time to witness Kara's return, Heero pulled Wufei into his arms and held him wordlessly.
Duo carried Kara to what had been their room and placed her tenderly on the bed, gently removing her torn and stained clothing, examining and bathing her wounds. He wrapped her in a soft garment then curled up beside her and simply held her. She sighed and snuggled into his embrace. Both lovers lay quietly, silent tears of relief slipping from their eyes. They slept.
"Wake up, buttercup." Duo greeted her lovingly as her eyes fluttered open, finally. He sifted his fingers through her hair, smiling as she shivered in response. "I love you, Kara. Please promise you'll never leave me again."
"Never again, Duo. I'm home."
/Are you there?/
"I'm here."
/You're back with us finally?/
"Yes, Heero. Finally"
Owari